


Pepsiman VS Sonic

by tatersalad5001



Category: Pepsiman (Video Game), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games)
Genre: ALL the pepsiman fanfics are nsfw and i will not stand for this, Flash Fic, Gen, I will be the hero this world deserves, i WILL make the pepsiman safe for work fanfic this world deserves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:19:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatersalad5001/pseuds/tatersalad5001
Summary: Pepsiman and Sonic race





	Pepsiman VS Sonic

**Author's Note:**

> Listen Pepsiman has been a part of my life for a nonzero number of years completely from watching people play the game on Youtube and one time I remembered it existed and wondered if fanfiction for it existed and it's all extremely explicit and while I didn't expect serious Pepsiman fanfiction this wasn't the entertainment I was looking for. This wasn't what I wanted.
> 
> Be the content you wish for in this world, kids.

Pepsiman was a hero. Not the hero that the world needed. Oh, no, far from it. Pepsiman was the type of hero that found you stranded in the desert and gave you a nice, big can of Pepsi. Pepsi: sugary, leaving you only more thirsty, and not really doing anything to actually help the situation. Pepsi isn't a helicopter or a search and rescue squad, ready to leave you to safety. But you drank your Pepsi anyway and you didn't complain, because you knew how this would go down. If Pepsiman was here now, the true heroes would soon arrive, like an actual helicopter to actually fly you to safety and get you healthy and hydrated again. And that helicopter wouldn't have found you nearly as fast if Pepsiman weren't here. The guy had a sixth sense for these things.

Pepsiman was a hero. Not the hero that the world needed. Oh, no, far from it. But he was the hero this world deserved.

No one knew how his career started. One day, Pepsiman was just there, already saving the world and handing everyone he came across a delicious, sweet bottle of Pepsi. Some say he came to the world in summer. Summer days were hot and humid. People were exhausted, sweaty, thirsty. And then there was Pepsiman, waiting with a nice cold bottle of Pepsi and bringing you back to at least some coherent thought. He was smiling, they'd say, or at least he would be if he had a face at all. Others say that the world was cursed wih him on a cold winter's night. He came along with his cold drinks on an even colder night and strived to give people exactly what they didn't need, making everyone's lives worse with his rather unhelpful help. He was a force of chaos, they'd say. Some say that he's just always been there, and always will be. Others truly hope that they'll never see him again.

There's only one thing that everyone agreed on regarding this mysterious hero. And that was that Pepsiman was fast. He was always the first on the scene, whether someone had gotten hurt, someone had gotten lost, or a bridge had broken down and everyone on it would perish without fast action. He'd make it there before helicopters, ambulances, fire trucks, police officers, and just about any first responder. He knew where the danger was before it even happened. People believed he might even be the fastest being on the entire planet, in the entire universe.

One being wouldn't stand for this praise. He went by the name of Sonic the Hedgehog, and he wouldn't stand for someone else taking titles that rightfully belonged to him.

Sonic was the fastest thing alive, not Pepsiman. And he would prove it.

It was Sonic who approached Pepsiman, not the other way around. Pepsiman answered the call on his Pepsi Phone™, and the two heroes made their arrangements. They would have a race to see who truly was the fastest. This would be no 100 meter dash, however; this was a worldwide sprint that'd stretch from New Mobotroplis all the way to Pepsi City. It wouldn't be a safe race, running through some of the most dangerous natural hazards, but this was a nonissue for two such as these. They were heroes, they could handle it. And handle it they would. A date was picked, the event was made public, and they waited.

Eventually the time came. It was time for the race.

Pepsiman and Sonic stood at the starting line. Knuckles and the Cola Fellow were the official referees of the race. It would start on their signal, and they would determine together who won. People came from around the globe to watch the race. Knuckles waved a flag. The Cola Fellow blew an air horn. The race began.

Pepsiman took the lead at first. Sonic was lagging behind, wanting to gauge Pepsiman's speed for himself before going all out. Pepsiman, however, only ran at one speed: fast. He had no plan, had no goals, had no thoughts. He only had Pepsi, the ultimate existence. Sonic ground his teeth together. This would not be an easy race, but Sonic wasn't a quitter. Especially when the race had just begun. With a spindash, he made up some lost ground. Pepsiman tripped on open air and ended up running on top of a barrel, regaining the distance lost. Alright, Sonic, time to get serious.

A large dust cloud and the bright noon sun obscured the identity of the true victor of the race. Not even the referees could figure it out. To this day, no one knows who the title of fastest thing alive belonged to. It remains a mystery for all time.


End file.
